COMPASSION FOR JUDAS

John 12:1-8

In the passage of the Anointing at Bethany we enter a beautiful tender moment, a moment filled with love and honoring. What a nice story to reflect on as we edge closer and closer to The Passion. We are invited into this warm scene of Jesus with his best friends as they gather and enjoy a meal together. It is here with this family where Jesus had performed his most spectacular miracle raising his dear friend, Lazurus, the one he wept for, from death. And we know he values the devotion of Mary, who sat at his feet and who now anoints him as she prepares for his death. She has attained a great amount of extremely valuable oil to use to anoint him. The aromatic oil, called Nard, is produced from a special plant found only in the Himalayas, so imagine the extravagance of procuring this special oil for this moment. Everything about this scene is saturated with reverence and profound love.

All four of the gospels tell the story of a woman anointing Jesus. In Luke it is a sinner, and she washes his feet with her tears and dries them with her hair. Then she continued kissing his feet and anointing them with ointment. In Mark and Matthew, the woman is not named, and she pours the valuable oil on his head. I particularly love the John version we just heard where Mary uses her hair to wipe the oil. It is such an intimate act and even somehow a bit shocking. Imagine the scent now in her hair filling the house.  

While it is easy to relate to the utter devotion Mary has for her beloved teacher it is difficult to understand how Judas, one of the disciples, could be so far from devotion. It seems puzzling that someone could be in the presence of the Divine Son of God and at least be respectful of what was happening. Instead, he complains about the cost of the perfume. But maybe the intimacy and love that Mary is demonstrating is just too much for Judas.  

I want to take a moment to imagine how Judas could betray his teacher for money. Let’s imagine that Judas was raised in a home without love. Maybe his physical and emotional needs were not met, and when he cried for food or for help, he was disregarded. Maybe even imagine that he was hurt by those who were supposed to love him. Imagine that he learned to lie to survive this dysfunctional situation. It is possible that someone taught him to steal to get by. It could be that Judas never experienced kindness or love.

Maybe seeing the tenderness that Mary so easily shows Jesus triggers him, makes him angry so he criticizes her for wasting money. Maybe no one ever bought Judas something of value or showed him love. Whatever his problem, Jesus isn’t having it, in no uncertain terms Jesus tells Judas to leave her alone and acknowledges her wisdom in preparing him for burial.

As we all know, in a mere few days Judas will betray his teacher, the Son of God, for money. He will be overcome with remorse and hang himself.

In the listening circles I facilitate in the California Men’s Colony prison I see the devastating impact of criminal behavior. Prisons are saturated with shame, and remorse. Some are still in anger but when they come to programs like the one I facilitate they start to take responsibility not only for the harm they have caused but the harm they have endured. In the seventeen years I have been walking with incarcerated people I have learned that every one of those who have harmed others were first victims themselves. I now understand on a visceral level that hurt people hurt people. Most of them endured unimaginable childhoods. This doesn’t excuse violence and criminality by any means, but it does foster understanding and compassion. The men I work with are striving every day to be better and to do better. They long to become their best selves and find ways to make a living amends for the harm they are responsible for.

I can only imagine that Judas was a hurt man acting out of his own pain. He was utterly self-oriented, caught up in his hunger for money and all that it brings. He couldn’t love God as Mary did, he was too shut down. He missed the blessings due to his inability to surrender to the holiest man that ever lived.  Surely Jesus could have changed his heart and healed his aching soul, but Judas had a role to play in the coming drama. He will always be the villain in our Christian story. Poor Judas. I have compassion for this man as I know that his behavior speaks volumes. Undoubtedly Judas longed to be a better man and to serve God. If only we knew his backstory we might better understand why he did what he did.

Judas was stuck in a criminal mindset. He was unable to move from self-oriented to God-oriented. He was breaking the greatest commandment: to Love God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind.

How can we be more like Mary and less like Judas? How can we move from self-oriented to God-oriented? Maybe these last days of Lent we can examine our own backstory with eyes of compassion and see where we might be carrying pain that manifests in ways that betray the love of God. What issues distract you from loving God with all your heart?

How can we show even half the amount of devotion that Mary does? Let us enter this sacred story and use our imaginations to stir our hearts to greater zeal in our love for Jesus. There is no such thing as too much love. Especially Divine Love.

Amen.

Sister Greta